U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
