All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Where is the hickey?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
