We're facebook friends in real life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
