i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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