i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
