you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
