i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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