Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
