Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
