You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
