Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We talked him into tasing himself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
