he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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