Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
