I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
