Me too!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
