i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
