yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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