This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
