I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
