Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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