Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
