Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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