He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
