how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
