Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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