I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cannot find my penis.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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