I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
