Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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