so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
