I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
