Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
