She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
