i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
