Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
