I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
