sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize