My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
