Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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