I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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