why didn't you poke me back
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
