it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
