I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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