I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
