So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
