Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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