I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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