took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
