you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
