fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize