I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize