I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
