Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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