i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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