take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
