I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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