I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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