You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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