I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
