i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
NoShamevember. You game?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
