I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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