Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
