you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
