Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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